I was just asked by my bank and credit-card company this morning if I wanted to take a customer satisfaction survey. Sure I do. You stink! Customer service in America is at an all time low. In fact, so low and sickening it makes me want to be a recluse and never interact with retail people, banks, government, etc. That's harsh, and it should be. What's worse than that? IVR Hell!

Getting on the phone with a problem, issue, or even to check how much of your money is in your bank account, every single one of us -- yes, 100% -- have had this experience: Yelling into the phone or getting caught in an endless stream of computer-generated key punches to get a warm body on the phone. This industry that innovated and painted itself into a wall needs to re-innovate and get with the program.

1. Rip out the interactive voice response technology. Everyone hates it.

2. Outsource customer service and care to a good company like Soroc with real people and high standards.

3. Innovate by treating people with respect and care and valuing their business -- now there's a concept!

For the most part, we equate innovation with technology. Well, how about innovating people systems. This system, after all, is the most important any company has. But the most important human system is your customer. So why leave them angry and speaking to a computer when the opportunity to service them and care for their business is there every time they pick up a phone?

You save money with IVR. Baloney! You lose customers with this crap. I'm switching my bank next week and the first thing I want to know is, who I will be calling to speak to when I have a problem. If they don’t say me or someone in the branch, and they give me the 1-800 brush off, then I walk right on the spot. That's how fed up and sick I am of this computer or cyber limbo.

I know I'm right in believing (and actually with inside customer-retention knowledge) that dissatisfaction with customer service is resulting in a huge migration of customers to competitors. When is a campaign coming out that says, “We honor you, our customer, as our company’s most important person. Whenever you call us, day or night, you will have direct access to a well educated, well mannered, friendly, and helpful employee who is ready to help you in every way we can.” Why? Because we freakin' care and don’t want to hemorrhage more money out of our dying industry!

IVR’s -- rip 'em out. Tear them right out of there. Get me a human on the phone and I will consider giving you my business.